(I was really, really, gonna put up the chapter of SelaFane with Hot Lesbo Action in it, but I came down with a cold … and being a shut-in I'd avoided colds for a couple of years, so it hit me like a ton. This got me thinking about stuff to drink thro it.)

Anybody of a certain age, on a cold day, will remember cups of Hot Bovril - or, at at a pinch, OXO cubes in hot water - and for us it's like a rocket back to childhood. And, like many aspects of our childhood, it could so with some distinct improvement. So:

- Cup of Hot Bovril (or Hot OXO) to which you add …

- Big splosh of lemon juice.
- Good big shake of Tabasco
- Grind of black pepper
- A measure of Vodka
- A splosh of dry sherry

And that really perks you up and makes you feel better.

But Dave, I hear you ask, why do you put alcohol in a hot drink? Won't it boil off?

To which I respond: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET INTO MY ROOM? I'VE GOT A KNIFE HERE! I'LL CUT YOU WITH MY KNIFE IF YOU COME A STEP CLOSER!

After I've calmed down a little, I respond thus: You are dumb to think alcohol boils off in stuff. Yes, alcohol has a boiling-point of like seventy degrees, but water has a boiling point of a hundred degrees, and all the water doesn't suddenly vanish when you boil it in a kettle.

You are so dumb you might as well be called Mister Dumb, on account of how dumb you are.

And now you're suitably chastised, here's some other hot drinks you can dump alcoholic stuff in:

- Tea with brandy. There's a certain interaction between the grape-based spirit and the tannins that elevate it into something other than yer Irish Coffee stuff.
- Hot milk and Scotch, with a dusting of cinnamon. (I prefer a really nice bourbon, personally, when I want something sweeter than scotch. Also, a sweet brandy like Metaxa goes really well with hot milk.
- Mulled beer. Use a really strong dark beer with any mulled-wine recipe you can think of, and it's all the better for it.

Long story short, there's nothing about the state where you're ejecting crawlingly diseased mucus out of every orifice that isn't several hundred percent better better with a healthy shot of alcohol.

That is all.